Posted by: wordofthevine | November 5, 2017

Keeping Perspective: Grief

I’ve been doing some thinking about grief so maybe that is why I have been blogging about it. I was at a training for care givers   who walk with people who are grieving. The instructor said that we can best help others by, yes, acknowledging and feeling our own losses but more, he encouraged us to keep a sense of humor in the process. He said, ” we do not need Eeyore grief counselors.”

I guess as well as feeling the loss we have to be able to respond to the situation. I am remembering a deeply sad experience being called early one morning to the hospital as the chaplain due to a death. A woman about my age with teenagers and young adult kids the same age as my own had just died. When I arrived her husband and three young adult daughters surrounded her body and were weeping. All of a sudden the cabinet door flew open, and her C-Pap machine dumped out on the floor spilling water on the floor. Everyone was startled until her daughter caught the gist. She yells, “Mother! You are such a practical joker.” The room burst out in laughter. Yes, in unison, they all bellowed with laughter,saying, “Mom, can’t you just let us be sad for a moment. You always have to have the last word and keep us light-hearted.  With this, the family continued, both, sharing stories of what they appreciated about their mother and wife and wiping tears from their eyes.

What about you? When you think about someone you’ve lost, can you appreciate something funny in your memories? Grief counselors tell us that we heal better by holding both sadness and joy together. ~ Mary


Responses

  1. When my mom was in her last day or two on Earth, she decided she wanted to be moved from the sofa to the bed hospice had provided. Us 3 girls were the only ones there so no problem we can do this. We had one sister on each side and one in the back. Well needless to say we didn’t realize she couldn’t stand at all and we almost dropped her and she flopped back to the couch with one sister trapped beneath her. After many minutes of sheer laughter on our part, we decided she could just live out her time on the sofa. Makes me smile still….she was probably thinking I know why you girls didn’t become nurses.


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